(Source: mystandards, via headupsunshine)

Sometimes I just want someone to ask me something personal.

As much as I enjoy simple conversation, I just want, for once, someone to ask,

“How are you REALLY?”

(Source: lovequotesrus)

Empty conversations are so prevalent without you in my life.

Some days my mind says, “wow, things are going so great, everything is going to be awesome and the worst is over.”

Other days my mind tells me, “you’re always going to be alone and you’ve already lost the most important thing that ever happened to you.”

Fuck.

Again, just too much time on my hands & no dignity to lose.

I don’t know why I’m writing this when I don’t expect anyone to read it. haaa

I’m back tumblees!

Well, I went AWOL for awhile because my wifi at home hates my computer but it’s working tonight for some reason so that means tumbling, submitting my “alcohol reflection” paper, and getting things squared away for online classes.

My summer schedule thus far has basically been work, gym, work, racquetball, work, run, etc.

Surprisingly work has been reasonably bearable and the paychecks are really nice (way more than a normal poor college kid makes).

My workouts have been a little off schedule because I’m getting in the swing of when the gym is busy, when is it the least hot outside, and when my body actually has the energy to actually work. I’m trying to build more muscle this summer and cut back on the running slightly. I’ll hit running hard in the fall and run either the Austin half or marathon in February.

I like being in shape.

Despite my mundane schedule, things are good at home. I miss him less. He becomes more and more surreal with everyday that passes and I think that’s a good thing.

(Source: lovequotesrus)

Empty room and one final left. I don’t know how I feel about this.

This is my last night in this room,

my last night of looking at these four walls that contained the better memories of us.

I remember lying in bed and hearing your voice,
waking my tired eyes to texts and emails from you.
You know, the unexpected ones;
the ones where you’d be in the field for weeks at a time and send me “secret” messages. I opened your letters on this now cold floor that is simply for walking on these days.

Goodbye to these daily reminders of where my heart truly is, what condition it is truly in.

Memories of you are tucked away in the boxes that will be kept shut until the fall comes again.

Good morning tumblees.
It’s a new day with new opportunities for goodness.

Yeah, if you want to know how this semester has been for me emotionally,

look at my running shoes.

Tonight was the first night my dad has ever told me war stories.

Maybe that’s ironic considering a large amount of my childhood was spent waiting for him to come back from war.

It’s tough realizing that your dad has this completely different life aside from his family, well aside from us kids. Like he has this side of him that he’s never shown us and I don’t blame him, it’s just so strange to me.

Learning what he’s seen, the things he has had to do, it’s desensitizing and disturbing and yet he wouldn’t have traded his sacrifices for anything else in the world. 

I love him so much.  

These fell out of my closet today while i was reaching for a pair of shoes.
They’re lying on my floor.

They used to make me so happy and now I’m sitting here heaving tears out over them.


And things were getting easier…

I was feeling rather strong after my run the other day - resulting in this picture.

I’m completely ashamed haha