My apartment is cozy tonight. Usually my bed feels like a stranger’s and uncomfortable.
I’m so excited to go see my parents tomorrow but I have so much studying that needs to be done. School is such a drag right now.
I had a really good run tonight. It’s nice taking a week off from distance and realizing you still have an easy five miles in you.
I feel dirty. The current situation I am in, relationship wise, is just, awful. I hate it. I want out of it. I like being alone honestly.
It’s been way too long since I’ve seen my brother. I miss him a lot. I hope he is doing okay.
I also miss my sister but I know she’s doing well.
I feel old. I never even get to see my siblings. I miss the days of riding around together in that green mini van. Or walking to the bus stop together. Or spending Friday nights in high school together sharing iTunes libraries and watching shitty netflix documentaries.
Maybe I’ll join the army.
Maybe I’ll transfer schools.
Maybe I’ll change my major.
Maybe I’ll look for a part time job.
Maybe I’ll start volunteering somewhere.
I need to go buy clothes that fit me.
I miss him still sometimes. Usually not. But last night, I missed him. I cried for awhile, a long while. But I didn’t text him. or try to call. or message him.
I miss God. I know I’m the one who moved. I’m just trying to find him again. Or find myself again.
It’s raining. I love the rain. It’s so relaxing and perfect.
I won’t have a 4.0 after this semester and I surprisingly don’t give a rip.
My roommate is my only girlfriend. Except for my neighbors back home.